How to Know when you Need A Counselor

When people hear the word counseling they cringe. They feel that there is something wrong with them if they should need counseling but that is the farthest thing from the truth. Here we will discuss when you need a counselor and what the roadblocks are to people getting help.
1. The Stigma: Yes, there is a stigma that people place on counseling and therapy which is the worse of the dirty words out of the two. Thanks to media and Hollywood we now believe that people who seek therapy are nuts and we feel bad for even thinking of it.
2. The Cost: The one thing that holds people back from getting help can be the cost. The state does lend some help but many don’t qualify. So, many don’t receive the help they need because of the cost. How many people do you know that can afford $75-$100 dollars an hour? Not many.
3. Disagreements: If it’s a family or couple in trouble—then disagreements between couples as far as how they feel about getting the help they need. Normally one party Is adverse to telling a stranger what their issues are. And the other feels it important that they do.
4. Signs you need counseling: There are signs you need help or your family or relationship has come to the point of needing help. Below are some important warning signs that will tell you that you may need to consider getting some help.
5. Communication has Stopped: When your family or spouse has stopped communicating in a healthy way or at all. This means you are in danger of losing that relationship. So, this may be time to approach the person you are with or your child—whoever you are partnered with in life and attack the situation positively without attacking the person. This means you need to be able to say the right words in the right way. Remember that most people are adverse to therapy of any kind and if you tell them the wrong way that you feel they are in need of any help it will seem as if you are the one making them the problem. One suggestion is taking it all to yourself. Saying that you love them and maybe it’s you but you feel we should talk to a trained person just to see if we can establish communication again. Sometimes it feels like you can’t live under the same roof anymore.
6. A Loved one has Strange Behavior: We all change—it’s a part of life. Sometimes we just have to understand and accept that someone in our lives is changing—even ourselves. But when it gets destructive to the relationship we have to take charge and try to understand what’s happening so we can support the person who is in effect—changing. If the change is something dangerous—like we suspect there is substance abuse—or the person has become violent or verbally abusive—then we have to get specialized help. If the person who is exhibiting the behavior—then we have to make sure the victim of that behavior gets help.
7. We are Depressed: Exhibiting signs of depression doesn’t not mean we are huddled up in a corner crying. On the contrary—it could mean—that you are more withdrawn or confused. It could mean that you are foggy or lethargic and you’ve lost interest in the things you used to find pleasure in.

Counseling by no means—means that you are crazy or unwell in any way. It doesn’t mean you are a failure—it just means you’re human.

Finding The Right Counselor For Your Needs

th (2)Looking to find the perfect therapist, who will listen to your specific needs? Here are some things you should know before you begin your search:

Psychiatrists: Simply put, psychiatrists specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of mental illnesses. They have medical training and they are also trained in “talk” therapy (psychotherapy), which aims to change a person’s behaviors.

Social Workers: A social worker’s goal is to maintain a person’s social functioning. They provide counseling and help people deal with relationships and solve personal problems.

Psychologists: These are doctoral degree experts in psychology. They study the human mind and behavior and are also trained in counseling and psychotherapy.

Licensed Counselors: These physicians are either licensed or certified to diagnose and treat mental disorders.

Steps to take to insure you’re hiring the right person to help you could include calling a college psychology department for references or asking an employee of a large medical clinic for recommendations. And, of course, check with friends and family.

When you do find someone, ask yourself these questions:

* Do I feel comfortable with this person?

* Has the therapist discussed with you what you expect your outcome to be through therapy? 

Does what the therapist say make sense to you? Does it help you or not?


There are also different methods that counselors use, such as guided meditation, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, EMDR, EFT, etc.  We have one friend who is an art therapist and she uses paint to help her clients with their issues.

Going through the proper channels can insure a positive outcome you can feel satisfied with.


A Balm For The Soul

rhythmic-healing-music-therapyThe famous German poet and author, Berthold Auerbach, once remarked “Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.”

How right he was.

Research has shown time and time again that in moments of distress, people will often turn to music when they want their spirits lifted. For centuries it has been a healing balm in helping people cope with tragedy, illness, and debilitating bouts of depression. So, it really is no wonder that medical professionals are turning to alternative means such as music therapy in order to help those who suffer with certain physical and mental illnesses, such as Alzheimer’s.

Music therapy encompasses many areas, but dancing, singing, and listening to music are used on a wider scope than other methods, as they are highly effective in controlling mood swings. This type of therapy is also beneficial for those who suffer with insomnia, as the calming strains of soft music aids in relaxing the mind, which further induces a good night’s sleep. Psychiatrists use a wide range of instruments, such as the flute, violin, and other soothing instruments as a form of classical music therapy to help promote wellness in their patients, but there are many types of music, and each one is used based solely on a patient’s individual need.

In many parts of the world, teachers incorporate music therapy with students who suffer from a wide range of language and communication difficulties, such as Autism. Some activities include:

  • Dancing to recorded music.
  • Circle dancing.
  • Meditation techniques.
  • Songs that involve movements, such as signing motions
  • Instruments (usually general instruments but homemade instruments are also used)
  • Singing.
  • Identifying sounds.
  • Relaxation and coping strategy experiences.
  • Instrument lessons.
  • Sharing and playing instruments with others.
  • Mirroring activities.

Our friend who owns a bounce house company uses music therapy to help the mentally retarded children have two therapies at once:  physical and mental health!

Though oftentimes considered an unconventional method of healing, music therapy is lighting the way for many individuals seeking a safer alternative to medicinal practices as they “wash away the dust of everyday life”.

Healing and Hope




I have been counseling in Orange County for decades.

Over time,  there are more and more addicts,  more and more ADHD kids,  and sadly, an explosion of autism.

The drug problem in Orange County has also exploded in this time period.


My dad was an electrician so my family stills owns the company, even though Dad died 13 years ago.

Both gigs are a pay per client, pay per hour situation.

There is no shortage of business for counselors.